I can tuck mytits in my pants
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I just gargled with NyQuil
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
