felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Im part way to drunk.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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