Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
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