This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I just want to make out with him forever
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
