Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
