This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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