Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
why do cheetos always look like penises
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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