I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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