You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Let's paint friendship bongs
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
