If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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