Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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