I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
