Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
