I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
