could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
