I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Randomize
