is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
