Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
