girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
