Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
A+ Viking dick
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
