You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
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