its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
