I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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