If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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