she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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