Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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