just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
