I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
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