Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
