God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
My vagina just clenched in fear
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
