FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
