his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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