Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
