i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
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