have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
