Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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