if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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