i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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