So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Randomize
