i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
