Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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