I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
