The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
