I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize
