You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
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