five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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