Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
