Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Randomize
