i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
