Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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