Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
