I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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