If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
