Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
We just shotgunned beers for America
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Floor bacon is actually really good
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
