Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize