Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
