Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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