Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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