70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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