After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
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