I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
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