No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Everclear isn't food dammit
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
